Wednesday, August 29, 2007

More tips for TIs

1. Using a refrigerator/freezer . So far, this has proven very helpful, and you may want to try this to ease your pain and prevent some of the violence being done to you. Note that you should use this tip with caution and good sense; this is for those who are truly being viciously, strongly attacked. The directed-energy weapon they use is in many ways a heat weapon, heating your body (in particular, very often heating parts of your head); and so cold can really help to counter some of the effects. Moreover, being in a very cold place may possibly also make it more difficult for them to see you with the through-the-wall camera they use. So, this tip could really be a godsend to you, but remember to use caution and good sense. Don’t do this if you don’t need to. But it’s another tool you can use to help prevent some violence and lessen your suffering.

Here is what I did last night. I have a refrigerator/freezer combo. (In fact, most refrigerators have a freezer as well as the regular refrigerator part). I was being attacked quite a bit in the head area. (They almost always attack the nose area to suffocate me, but last night they were also shooting quite a bit at the left side of my head, basically attacking my left brain. They have done this before.). I tried first to sleep with my head in the refrigerator, but this simply was not cold enough. But the freezer did the trick. The coldness of a freezer is what you need; I think the refrigeration part will never be enough. Now, I am lucky because the freezer part of my refrigerator is on the bottom of the unit, and the refrigeration part is on the top; I can basically sleep on the floor with my head in the freezer portion (and with the freezer door open, of course). If you don’t have such a configuration of your fridge, then either buy one that has that, or else you’ll need to pile up mattresses or other secure building blocks until your body can lie flat with your head in the freezer part.

Now, note that they were shooting me directly in the head; this made my head considerably hot, and therefore the freezer made me feel comfortable. They may not be shooting you directly in the head; and if not, then you may not need to do this, which in some ways is a bit drastic. What I am saying is this: Be careful. That’s all. Don’t freeze your head. If your teeth start to chatter, you are too cold and need to either put on a cap or get your head out of there and don’t use this. You need to gauge whether or not you need to do this, and if so, to what extent. So use this tactic to stop the overheating of your head, to stop the pain, to feel some comfort and relief; but don’t freeze yourself in the process. Use good judgment.

2. Breathing around a water bottle. I talked before about breath control, about breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. But here is another tip that may be easier: put a water bottle in your mouth (could be empty) and keep it there while you breathe. You know, the bottle that bottled water comes in. Put your lips to the opening of the bottle (no need to drink); the air will come out of your nose and flow around the neck of the bottle. You can still breathe, but it may make it difficult for the attackers to “see” your nostrils (the hot air is being diverted).

I have lots of ideas, but no time to try them. It occurred to me that a metal storage shed, provided you have proper cooling and ventilation, might be very helpful. I remember when I lived in America a company called General Steel (or something like that) that would actually build you a shed or warehouse to your specifications (don’t know how expensive). I’m pretty sure you can also buy prefabricated metal garden sheds and such. Anyway, you could try it; I’ve never tried it. You probably need a good AC unit, but you want to avoid windows because of course they can “see” and shoot right through them.

Psychological tips

Your mindset is very important. You need to “keep it together,” so to speak. So these tips are very important. Anyway, I hope you find some of this information useful. Although these tips are just about “thinking” and “thoughts,” if they help to reduce your pain, they’re useful, right?

Separation of mind and body

Have you ever asked the question, What are you? Not who are you, but what? Are you your body? This sounds silly and weird, but hear me out. You are not your body. How do I know? Well, if you lose a finger in an accident, do you stop being you? What about if you lose an arm? Of course not—you are still “you”, whatever that is. The bottom line is, we are not our bodies. Our bodies are a shell. Your body is a shell. You are some tiny, tiny part of your body. My belief is that each of us is actually the tiniest possible particle somewhere in a key location inside our brains, and that our brains give us “consciousness” and our bodies give us a “shell” to interact with the world, but “we”—these tiny bits that are us—are actually indestructible and eternal. At any rate, whatever you think of as “you”, it must be pretty small, even smaller than your brain, if you think about it logically.

So here’s the bottom line: the attackers may attack and destroy your body, but your body is just a shell. It really is. If you do not take it all too seriously (I know what they are doing is serious and awful), then your pain will decrease. In this world, we all grow old and we all die eventually—even the attackers. The difference is we TIs die with our consciences intact. We may not live as long, but we live and die with honor. There’s something to be said for that. Longevity isn’t everything. I hope that thinking about some of these issues helps to bring you peace and reduce your pain.

Blank your mind

Sometimes your mind will become overcrowded with self-destructive thoughts. You might be walking past someone sneering at you, giving you the “mafia hit sign” and so on. Thoughts rush violently into your mind—either thoughts of intense fear or intense hatred and violence. None of these thoughts will do you any good. Fear doesn’t do you any good—it just makes you feel miserable and doesn’t change anything; it won’t make them leave you alone or make you any safer. And if you act on your rage and attack them you will end up in jail. Sometimes you just need to turn off all your thoughts. Just blank your mind. You can do it. Of course, you cannot do it forever, or even longer than a few minutes, and you shouldn’t want to or need to. Being able to blank your mind (stop your thoughts) for 30 seconds is usually more than sufficient. Often just ten seconds is enough. This is a good trick to learn. Use it when you start to feel overwhelmed by fear and anger. Learn to detect when you are starting to be overwhelmed by thoughts of fear and anger and then turn all thoughts off for a moment. This really helps.

New poem

Hope you don’t mind me talking a bit about myself and my own life. I think some people might be interested, and they might also like to read some positive things in addition to the important but sobering material. I wrote my first poem in Chinese. Actually, it’s a translation of my poem The Moon and I had quite a bit of help from my handheld electronic translator! So I guess I should share credit with this device.

This poem has an interesting history. When I took my Chinese Literature class at the university some years ago now, I really enjoyed reading poetry from the ancient Chinese text The Book of Songs. I decided to write a poem in a similar style, but in English. And I did—it’s called The Moon and you can find it on the poetry section of this website. But now I’m in China and learning Chinese, so what could be more appropriate than to translate this poem into Chinese? And believe it or not, by imitating the style in English, it in fact made it easier to translate this poem into Chinese. Now, I know this translation isn’t perfect, but I think it’s not too bad for my first attempt. Here it is as a Word file.

High school picture

This is me at 18 years of age, still in high school. This is also basically how I looked at 19 and in my first year of community college, when the attackers first started attacking me. Does this look like the face of a bad guy? Do I really look like some kind of threat to anyone? How could they send the goons in to harass and intimidate me? This is something I will never understand. What a pity.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Found some good links that I think are worth sharing. Here’s one that echoes many of my sentiments about what is going on:

End the Silent Holocaust

And here are some links regarding a plan by the US government to actually "commit acts of terrorism in U.S. cities" to further its military goals; of course it makes you wonder if that’s what happened with 9/11.

US Military Wanted to Provoke War With Cuba
Operation Northwoods

And here’s a link that again ties together the mafia and the US government.

Italy Probe Unearths Huge Iraq Arms Deal

Wednesday, August 22, 2006

On a mountain

I went to a lovely mountain here in Beijing called Xiang Shan (fragrant mountain). It really was wonderful. As predicted, the bad guys can do much less up in the mountains. It’s just not convenient for them. The most wonderful thing, though, was going down the mountain on a cable car. It was so beautiful, so peaceful. The bad guys took some shots at me while I was in the cable car but it was all small stuff, relatively speaking. It was, for the most part, so peaceful and wonderful. It’s a slow trip down the mountainside, suspended above the mountain, with the wind blowing and a certain quiet or stillness all around. A deep peace and calm came over me. Other TIs know what I’m talking about—there are so few times when we have peace, that we must treasure the times that we do. I think getting back to nature is a wonderful thing, especially for TIs.

The medical side of human experimentation

I’ve mentioned before that I think much of what happens to TIs boils down to experimentation. But this was in the context of testing weapons for the sake of using them as weapons. There is yet another side to the DEW weapons experimentation, and that is how it relates to medical research. The DEW weapons are basically radiation weapons, and radiation plays a key role in medical research and in the treatment of many diseases, including cancer. You may never have wondered about all those radiation treatments that people get these days in the hospital, but those “tools” had to be tested on somebody. And cancer is a big problem, and nobody wants to die of cancer. It seems to me that there are people who are willing to sacrifice the innocent in order to make sure they have every weapon against cancer and other diseases.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I hate cancer. My father died of cancer. I wish we could indeed find a cure for cancer. But not by experimenting on innocent people who have not volunteered for such experimentation. Not by using innocent human beings as guinea pigs. It all boils down to that misguided philosophy that the ends justify the means. In fact, the ends do not, and never will, justify the means. The ends here are good: curing cancer. The means here are not: torturing and maiming innocent people in order to get research data. The former does not justify the latter. I remember seeing a movie some years ago called Extreme Measures that had a similar subject matter; I think it is particularly relevant here.

You might wonder how using a DEW weapon could possibly relate to medical experimentation. The fact is, the output of the weapon is a radiation beam. Such a beam could be made very similar to a beam used in treating patients with cancer. It’s a strange way to do testing, to be sure. It’s very unconventional: the subject is not in a controlled setting like a laboratory, and most of all the subjects have not volunteered for this. But the researchers will take this data any way they can get it, because no one is going to volunteer for this. “Wait,” you say. “There are people dying of cancer every day. Of course they will volunteer for something that could save their lives.” Indeed, they would, they can and they do. But they are not enough. Let me explain.

First of all, the people who are dying of cancer already have cancer. If you want to test a new tool for its ability to prevent cancer, you need to test it on someone who doesn’t already have cancer. But there is an even more fundamental reason why innocent people are experimented on: limit testing.

The Limit People

As human beings, we are always testing our limits. In fact, that’s what the Olympics are all about: testing the limits of human beings to see who is the strongest, the fastest, who can lift the most weight, and so on. It’s why we have the Guiness Book of World Records. It’s one reason we explore space and try to reach Mars and beyond. It is also of paramount importance when it comes to medical research. Have you ever wondered: How do doctors know how much radiation to give a cancer patient? How do they know how much radiation will be safe, and how much would be harmful? Obviously, the doctors and scientists who invented these radiation devices had to do some limit testing, but the question is—on who?

No one can deny that chimpanzees share 98% of our DNA, but still, we are not chimps, and in the end, new medical inventions must be tested on people before they can be widely used. Researchers need to know: How much is too much? Unfortunately, there’s only one real way to answer this question: to do “too much” to someone. By too much, I mean that the “experimentee” is going to get hurt. Of course, no one is going to volunteer to be these “limit men and women.” I believe this is one major reason why innocent civilians are experimented on. Sure, some cancer patient in a hospital could volunteer, but even after signing a consent form, there is this ugly thing called lawsuits. With “un-volunteers” such as myself and others, experimenters need not worry about lawsuits. The bottom line is, the researchers are going to have to “go too far”—they're going to have to hurt someone—in order to know how much is too much.

I have read several times, but have not confirmed, that there are actually no laws in America against experimenting on citizens with DEW or other electronic weapons. And this may be true in other countries as well. If so, it is a sad indictment of the human race and the state of the world.

TIs: Do not give away test results

So, if you are a TI, and you want to discourage the government from harming you and other TIs, then don’t give away test results. What do I mean? I mean, when they hurt you, don’t talk about it. Don’t talk out loud; they have your apartment bugged and probably also your workplace. Just don’t talk about the results out loud; keep it to yourself, in your mind. Certainly, you can talk about what they did, as in “Last night they shot me in the right leg.” But don’t say, “And now I can’t walk anymore,” or “It hurts a bit, but I think it’s all right.” That is the data they are looking for. Don’t give them this data.

I remember when I first became a TI—when they first started experimenting on me and harming me. I would run to the emergency room every time. This was just what they wanted—now they had blood tests and other tests that they could use. And of course, I would explain the detailed results to the physician on duty as well. The question is, where did this get me? Absolutely nowhere. First of all, some physicians (I’m sorry to say) are beholden to the mob. But even the “uninvolved” doctors have not had training to understand victims of DEW weapons. They cannot possibly diagnose or treat the problem, and most will be inclined to discredit what the TI says as “mental illness.” I do not blame them for not believing—for anyone unfamiliar with these weapons and the people who use them, it is indeed difficult to believe.

If you are bleeding and it is truly an emergency and you think that doctors can help you, then go ahead and run to the hospital and spill your guts. But in my twenty years of being a victim, I can honestly tell you that doctors have never been able to do anything, and in fact, you are just giving the bad guys the test results that they so badly want, and helping to continue this travesty of justice against innocent men and women. Most permanent injuries from these weapons are internal and difficult to diagnose and could be mistaken as being something else. In my experience, going to the doctor has never helped to physically treat the problem or injury, and has never helped to expose what the perpetrators do or bring them to justice. So try not to talk about or write about or in any way reveal (other than in your own thoughts) the results of what the bad guys do. I know this is hard but I think it's very important.

Monday, August 20, 2007

I have a dream too

I am constantly tortured and my body maimed; is it surprising that under those circumstances I sometimes let anger get the best of me and lose my temper? Still I try to work harder and harder every day at staying calm. I know that I am no Martin Luther King or Gandhi. These people are my heroes; I cannot expect to walk in their footsteps. I am inspired by them and want to be like them; and I am doing my best to follow their examples.

Everyone knows MLK’s incredible I have a dream speech. It is inspiring to this day. I know that I am no Martin Luther King, but I thought I would try to put my own thoughts into this framework that he so eloquently laid out. King was fighting a battle for equality and human rights for all, but in particular for African Americans. We “targeted individuals” are also fighting a battle for human rights—for the right not to be tortured, maimed, and experimented on. In that vein, here is my own (much poorer) I have a dream speech:

* * *

I have a dream that one day democracy will be a reality. I have a dream that one day people will be judged by the content of their character and not by their “good standing” with, and membership in, this criminal organization. I have a dream that one day it will be enough simply to be a good citizen—of America, of China, of whatever country you are in—with no need to be on “good terms” with the perpetrators. I have a dream that one day this criminal organization will no longer exist. I have a dream that one day, the world will realize it doesn’t need this criminal organization, it doesn’t need a secret gang, secret connections, “back doors”, and other “benefits” that the perpetrators may offer because the world will finally realize that the detriments far outweigh the benefits. I have a dream that one day all human beings will be motivated most of all not by pragmatic self interest—concerned only with their own circle of family and friends—but by a devotion to all people, to the rule of law, and to a general sense of fairness.

* * *

I look around me and see perpetrators and I do not like what I see. I see a teenager in the Internet cafe, just now, purposely flicking his finger on the left side of his node and staring at me menacingly, to intimidate me. Everyday I see them, with their burning hatred and fear behind their eyes, with their violence and intimidation; and I think to myself, “Is what they expect me to be a part of? Is this something I would ever want to be a part of? Why would I ever want to join such a group as this, and why would they think I would ever even consider joining?" I look around me and I see depravity and cowardice—but not people whom I would ever want to call my friends.

It’s true that with all their magic “DEW weapon” violence, I don’t get much sleep. But what may be surprising to many readers is this: the sleep I get is always peaceful sleep, because I always have a clear conscience. I guess I am one of those rare people who has a conscience—a real one, that actually stops you from doing bad things, and not a “fake” one that just says “too bad” while you go ahead and do the wrong action anyway. And I am glad to have a conscience, and wouldn’t trade it in a million years for all the gold in the world or for “being in good graces” with the criminals. A clear conscience just feels good. And it’s something that the perpetrators, with their fingers on their noses and their DEW weapons, can never buy, not even with a stack of $100 bills as tall as the sky.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Looking back/Attitude

I've been thinking a lot lately about how life used to be for me in the United States (I'm in China now), and I can't help thinking how selfish I was. What did I do? I studied, I worked hard at school, I watched movies, read books. It all seemed the right thing to do at the time, but now I look back and it seems a waste to me. I wasn't doing the one thing I should have been doing: working to make the world a better place and helping fellow TIs (targeted individuals). I wasn't trying to be selfish, but in fact that's what my lack of appropriate action amounted to. It's a different life for me now. I live not just for myself but for other TIs and for making the world a better place. I think if all TIs took this attitude, it would really make a great difference. If TIs never speak out, how will the world ever change?

Another thing that has helped my attitude now is three words. I am trying these days to always keep these three words in my mind: hearts and minds. Those might seem like funny words to focus on, but in fact that's what we TIs need to be fighting for: for the hearts and minds of others. We need to keep that in mind always so that we conduct ourselves well. I guess this idea stems from two personal heroes of mine, Martin Luther King and Gandhi. We should all be so lucky to be as wise--and as effective--as these two great leaders. They knew that the battle was not one of violence and physical might but rather a battle for hearts and minds. Being violent, getting angry and fighting are actually the easier things to do, and are more in line with our natural (primitive) tendencies. It is not easy to suppress these tendencies, which are very natural when people are hurting us--physically or emotionally--without due cause, but it is what we must do.


You may wonder how all of the evil described on this website (and others) could go on at all, let alone continue to go on (as it has) for many years. I believe the answer lies in fear. I think fear is perhaps the worst human emotion. Truly some fear is necessary: If you are at the foot of a mountain, and you see a big boulder at the top of the mountain starting to roll down, a quick dose of fear is just what you need to get you to move out of the way and avoid being flattened. The problem, however, is that most fear is irrational rather than rational. And some (most?) people are simply controlled by their fear. It is a sad fact of human nature that with many people--if not most--if you simply give them enough fear, they will do whatever you want. I believe this is the very phenomenon that made possible the ostracization and murder of millions of Jews during World War II. The "jump on the hate-the-Jews bandwagon" happened not merely in Germany (as if that weren't enough) but also in the countries which Germany conquered. The non-Jews in these countries had a choice: hate (and help destroy) the Jewish population of your country, or face the wrath of the Third Reich. The key thing, is, it is a choice; we always have choices. But many of the people who "jumped on the bandwagon" said something to the effect that they had no choice. In fact, we always have choices. But these people were controlled by their fear. It is the same process I have seen with abused wives. Their husband wants to control them, own them; so he doesn't something unthinkable--say, burns their arms. Then whenever they look at their arms, they have a constant reminder of fear. Many of these women are now "controlled" by their fear--afraid to do anything to upset their husbands. In fact, they are indeed "owned," when instead they should be fighting the incredible evil that did this to them. Even when others would be willing to help them, they will not seek help from others, because they are controlled by their fear. This is a problem with human nature, and this is how criminal organizations become powerful.

But fear is not merely in victims. It is in the perpetrators as well. I see it on their faces. Fear has many masks. TIs should always bear this in mind. An unnatural smile, smirk or laughter is a mask for fear; and anger and violence of any kind always mask fear. You might wonder that if the perpetrators have all this fear, why do they attack people in the first place? Because they fear not attacking as well. They fear what other people think. They fear about their reputation. They fear about everything. Why experiment on people? Because of fear. They fear that if they don't, another group/country will do so and have an advantage. Why attack this individual? Because they fear that if they don't, ... (fill in the blank). You get the idea. If you are a TI, and you keep in mind that what the bad guys do is all fear based, it will make it easier for you to deal with the intended harassment and intimidation. As a TI, you must learn to control your fear, or it will control you.

Pain/Coping for TIs

One thing that was mentioned under Attitude above was living to help others. If you live to help other TIs, it takes the focus off your own life and in fact will make you less likely to feel sorry for yourself or get depressed. You will also become more effective at helping to put an end to this injustice that affects not only you but others as well. You are not alone. You should always know that as well. The bad guys try to isolate us from one another, but as the websites show, there are many of us out there--too many to ignore forever, I hope.

You will have to fight the battle against pain and win, if you have not already. I hope that I can help you in this regard, as I have been down that horrible road and made it through. First we need to talk about what pain is.

It may surprise you to know that there is no "pain weapon". The bad guys cannot, I repeat, cannot give you pain--not directly, and that's extremely important. Know this: pain comes from within you--from your own brain. It is your own brain's response to outer stimuli (the weapon attacks) that causes pain. The criminals cannot give you pain; they can only attack your body, and in turn your body (your brain) sends signals that give you pain. This is a natural response: When you put your hand on a stove that is on and getting hotter and hotter, a pain signal will cause you to remove your hand from the stove and avoid damage. The problem is when there is nothing you can do to stop the harm to your body. With these criminal attacks, there is often nothing you can do to completely stop the attacks, so your body goes on giving you pain--more and more and more pain as the attacks continue in frequency and potency. The body doesn't understand that there is nothing you can do, and you end up being tortured by pain. This can get to a point where the body "turns against the mind," so to speak--subjecting you (the mind) to incredible pain for damage to your body that you simply cannot avoid or stop. Some things may happen: You may "hear" voices telling you things--that you're no good, that you're a loser, etc. This is the subconscious mind calling the conscious mind (you) names. Many TIs report hearing voices, and think that the bad guys are "beaming" voices into their skulls. The latter may or may not be possible, but I do know that in many cases this is simply an unfortunate byproduct of an incredible amount of pain and violence being done to a body that really, really wants to make it stop and is doing whatever it can to make you, the conscious mind in charge, make it stop. You can tell the difference: If these insulting "voices" never overlap with your own "mental voice" (the voice you hear when you think thoughts), then it is likely that the voice is simply coming from you (from your subconscious).

The second thing that may happen is that you become extremely depressed, even contemplating suicide, because of the unrelenting, hideous amount of pain that you are in. I have something that will help in these extreme circumstances. Whenever you are in so much pain that you simply cannot take it for one more second, that you are truly ready to go jump out the window or take other means to commit suicide, then do this: Hold your breath until the pain stops. That's right, hold your breath. The truth is, your brain cannot continue to go on torturing you (giving you severe pain) while at the same time being deprived of oxygen. Your subconscious brain--your hind brain, the ancient reptilian part of your brain which is torturing the living shit out of you for something you can't stop--will have to back down. Always. Now, that said, holding your breath is not something I recommend you do on a frequent, regular basis. It is something to do when you can't take it any longer and you are about to jump out the window. Don't jump out the window. Hold your breath. Stop holding your breath when the pain subsides (it will).

My own life

I hope that other TIs do not measure the effectiveness of what I recommend by the length of my life. I am trying to give others the benefit of knowledge that has taken me twenty years to accumulate. My hope is that you will avoid or at least mitigate the hopeless and despair that I once had to go through. At times I simply "took it"--I just sat there in bed, in misery, in torture, and let the criminals do the most unimaginable torture and destruction to my body because I couldn't cope. But now that you know some of the tips I'm giving you on this website, you don't have to do this. So anyway, if I die young, just bear in mind it is not necessarily a byproduct of bad ideas but the result of not having the good ideas soon enough. My advice to you: ever give up hope, know that you are not alone in this situation, and do whatever it takes (short of something illegal or immoral) to protect yourself. If you won't do whatever it takes, you must take whatever they do. I hope my advice hear will help you to better protect yourself and most of all to ease your suffering.

Death, torture and breathing

This should not be a surprise to most people: torture is worse than death. It's not even a close call. Death is death: it's over. As far as we know, no more pain. Your religious beliefs may dictate otherwise, but those who have had close calls with death consistently report a feeling of peace. Death is final, ending; but torture goes on and on and on--a neverending misery. Those who are not TIs and who have never been systematically and daily tortured cannot fully understand and appreciate the deep, wretching despair. Use the mental and physical tips I have given here to stop the torture, to drastically reduce the pain.

It may seem strange that the technique that can shut-off the pain in an emergency-- holding your breath--is also the very technique that the perpetrators use to torture you (suffocating you by shooting your nose with the weapon). But of course there is a huge difference: You hold your breath when you want to, and the criminals try to suffocate you whenever they want to. In fact, your body wants to live, and you want to live (or should). You therefore want, the vast majority of the time, to breathe. I have been attacked in every conceivable way and in every conceivable place on my body, and I can tell you that, hands down, the very worst attack is suffocation. Everything else is not even close in terms of pain. I am not talking about destruction; I am simply talking about pain. For pain, nothing is worse than fighting for each and every breath. That is why I say to you: protect your breath. Protect your breathing. Protect your breathing. It is the most important thing of all, and the one thing more than anything else that will keep your pain at manageable levels.

During the day, you can try the breathe-out-through-the-mouth trick (described in an earlier entry) and a trick I will describe now to stop the vast majority of suffocation attacks. This other trick is simple, but it's important that you know it: cover your nose with your hand or hands. Use one hand or both hands for more effectiveness. For maximum effectiveness, take off your glasses (if you're wearing some) and make your hands extend over your nose and eyes, because often they will shoot at an angle very close to your eyes in order to get to your nose. You can often protect well with just one hand using this method. Practice makes perfect here. If you cover your nose while breathing out, you will block their ability to see the heat output and/or send the hot air (coming out of your nostrils) this way and that as it winds through your fingers, making it quite difficult for them to "see" the source. Between breath control and covering, you can stop the suffocation to an amazing degree during the day.

During the night: Well, for one thing, get outside. Get into a tent. I have been sleeping outside in a tent now for five days or so and in terms of suffocation, things have been much, much better than when I was in the apartment. So get in a tent, and when you sleep, put a hand under your nose and maybe slightly around it. Make sure you can breathe just fine, but that also the air coming out of your nose hits your hand on the way out. You may have to experiment with hand position to learn the best way. If you have an idea of the direction from which they are shooting at you, that can help you to decide not only how to protect your nose but also how to position your body and head when you sleep. Actually, camping out is kind of fun anyway, and we TIs need to make the best out of a bad situation.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

All kinds of amazing stuff has been going on. There's so much to say. Whew.

  1. Someone's been tampering with my email. I was expecting a very important email from a friend. I was waiting for that friend to let me know when he mailed me a package from America (I am living in China). He sent me that email on July 27. I just found it yesterday, August 8, in my email, and in chronological order as if it came right after the previous email from my friend, and shaded as if I (or someone else, I guess) had already seen it. There's no way I saw this email before, and *I* certainly did not change its status from unread to read. (I have a degree in computer science; I'm not a dummy when it comes to computer-related things.) Anyway, because of this, the package delivery was already attempted--on August 3rd. I'm trying now to arrange another delivery attempt. But this whole thing is very suspicious. The package contained some books and CDs.
  2. I know I said before that I thought they were gassing me. They might have done that at times; I can't be sure. But it's possible that, in fact, what they have been doing is not "gas" per se. I've had some recent experiences that have led me to conclude that, at least some times, they are not directly pumping gas into the air. I was outside on my balcony with three fans going and still there was a "gas" in the air, still I could not get enough oxygen. From what I have read from several Web sources (and remember reading about long ago), it appears that what they may have been doing is ionizing the air, or creating a plasma. Now you must forgive my rusty and bad physics; for a guy against whom physics is used as a weapon, I really should have studied physics at the university! But if you've been reading my blog here, you know that I was living in denial and trying to appease them. I really have been a fool.

    Anyway, it appears that with enough "energy" you can actually ionize the air, creating a plasma effect. If memory serves me, plasma has been called a fourth state of matter, something between a solid and gas. I believe this is what they did to me on the balcony. Again, I don't know the physics, but somehow either the oxygen molecules are being destroyed, made unusable, or "crowded out" during this process.

    Also there appears to be a huge "fallout" from this beam. My understanding of directed energy beams is that you have the main target you are focusing on, and then some additional area around the target that (albeit with less energy) also gets hit. Well, you're not gonna believe this, and you just have to trust me, but I have been cleaning up one dead thing after another at my apartment. There has been a dead bird, a dead lizard, and many dead bugs just lying not too far from where I've been sleeping. I have not seen this effect before. Moreover, the common hallway in the apartment building, where the staircase is, has huge yellow discolorations that appeared overnight! I am telling you that these were not here before. And they are *exactly* in line vertically and horizontally with the spots where I was laying my head that night on the balcony. These discolorations seem to be mostly within the area of the top ceiling of the apartment that is below (not directly, but diagonally) mine.

Needless to say, I've been getting out of the house. I'm beginning to believe that is the best course of action for Targeted Individuals (TIs) such as myself. I have a tent and I am using it. I recommend to all TIs to buy a tent and go sleep in the mountains or other "roughing it" area. Don't sleep at a campground because campgrounds have electricity and other resources that make it much easier for the bad guys to power weapons with which to attack you. But in any event, don't sleep in your apartment. It's just too easy for them to get an apartment or two next to yours, bring in some powerful weapons and starting attacking you.

But a good question is, Why is it so easy for them to get an apartment next to a TIs apartment? I've been thinking about that question a lot lately. I believe that the bad guys are involved in the government (see earlier blog for remark by radio talk show host who said the mafia are running America), but I had not given too much thought to the corrupt exploitation of government power. Other TIs (e.g., see http://www.harassment101.com) have commented that corrupt members of the government present phony files and false information to landlords and other people involved in the life of a TI in order to get what they want. In other words, they present a bunch of lies about an innocent TI, pretending the TI is a terrorist or who knows what. (I have no idea what they say. I suppose they could fabricate any kind of story.) It all reminds of the first time I was suffocated to "gasping wakefulness" by their weapon. It was in Denver in January of 1992, I think. I woke up gasping and realizing I had not been breathing for several minutes. I actually called 911 and went in an ambulance to a hospital. Because of street theater that had also been going on at this time (strangers in cars would drive by me as I walked to work, honking their car horns, shouting at me and giving hateful stares, etc.), I thought I was being gassed and suspected the tenant above me. So I went to see the landlord and, I realize now, I got a bit of luck: The young girl who was working there looked up the tenant in her book (a brand new tenant) and told me the book showed the new tenant worked for the FBI. Yeah, no shit, the FBI. I talked to him on occasion and remember that he told me his name was Scott. I remember thinking that I didn't trust this guy, that he seemed like he was no good. Anyway, the important thing now is, I think maybe the government said to my landlords, "This guy is a terrorist/murderer/rapist/who-the-heck-knows and you have to let us put a man in the apartment above him." It just seems awfully coincidental that right before I get the first full suffocation attack, I get a new tenant above me who works for the FBI. I mean, they might just have powerful connections and know people and not need to go to the trouble to present false papers and such, but then again, they might indeed need to do this. They can't own everyone. The sad fact is, I never thought to actually even ask any of my landlords in all the 20 years of torture I endured in the US if anyone from the goverment ever talked to them about me. It doesn't hurt to ask. The government could make them swear secrecy, I suppose, saying "This guy is a terrorist; if you tell him we'll arrest you and put you in jail." But maybe at least a few landlords would be brave and have a conscience.

A sobering thought

Another thought has been dominating my mind recently, and it is a very sobering one. The question is, What is a TI, really, and why would any organization do this? A TI means a targeted individual, yes, but why would someone target these individuals. I had always thought up to this time that the motivation was that the perpetrators thought "I knew too much" or fear or vengeance over some horrible girl who lived in New Mexico. (That's a long story. To make a long story short: I met a girl. She was rude; I yelled at her over the phone [no curse words, not the end of the world]. I regretted it; thought I loved her [I was young and dumb]. She got evil and nasty and hateful and made many hangup calls, death threats, etc., and soon I move away to another state and somehow she's there too, riding with many strangers in cars who are honking their horns at me and following me, screaming out the window at me, and I'm being suffocated in my own at night, and so on.) But now think about it for a minute: If I knew something, then why not just kill me? If I really was a threat to this girl, why bring her up to a different US state to where I was? Why make her follow me? Wouldn't that just put her in more danger, if I really was a threat to her? If it's vengeance, then again why not kill or physically attack or something else. Why the continued electronic torture?

And here's where the sobering thoughts come. The fact is, to follow me everywhere I go, do street theater, put people in the apartments next to me no matter where I live, all this amounts to basically mobilizing an army against me; whether or not the army is a gangster army is irrelevant. The bottom line is that it can only be achieved with great effort and at great cost. The weapons themselves must consume a lot of energy and be expensive to use and maintain, and they fire these weapons not only in the neighboring apartments but also apparently from cars in the street. I remember when I first got to China; the attacks were few and mild. The army had not been mobilized yet. Here's the thing: To "target an individual," to do all that is done to TIs, is an incredibly expensive and time-consuming task. Why go to all this trouble, when there are much cheaper and quicker ways to protect, get revenge, or silence someone? I think perhaps the truth is that, in fact, it doesn't make any sense. Even if this criminal organization is secretly running America, they cannot mobilize an army against every single person they are afraid of, against everyone they think might know something, against everyone that offends them; there just wouldn't be enough room for all the "attacking" cars on the streets, for instance. If two TIs walked down the same street, you'd have scenarios where "beams would cross" or cars might even get in the way of each other. The bottom line is, there are too many potential people "who might know something" or "might do something the perpetrators don't like" to mobilize an army against them, follow them, attack them day and night, and so on. No way.

It appears more and more convincing to me everyday now that the only plausible reason for an organization to spend this kind of money and effort on this is for purposes of human experimentation. I believe my father (who died at 42) was experimented on before I was born, and after he died I believe I was chosen as another human guinea pig. The rest of it--the "what do you know", the hateful girl, etc., I think is probably just misdirection, to take the spotlight off a very shameful secret: the American government conducts weapon experiments on a handful of innocent, unsuspecting citizens around the world. Here is an interesting article from a couple of years ago on directed-energy weapons. Of particular interest to me is the following quote:

The directed-energy component in the project is the Active Denial System, developed by Air Force researchers and built by Raytheon Co. It produces a millimeter-wavelength burst of energy that penetrates 1/64 of an inch into a person's skin, agitating water molecules to produce heat. The sensation is certain to get people to halt whatever they are doing.

Military investigators say decades of research have shown that the effect ends the moment a person is out of the beam, and no lasting damage is done as long as the stream does not exceed a certain duration. How long? That answer is classified, but it apparently is in the realm of seconds, not minutes. The range of the beam also is secret, though it is said to be further than small arms fire, so an attacker could be repelled before he could pull a trigger.

The interesting quote for me is, "Military investigators say decades of research have shown that the effect ends the moment a person is out of the beam, and no lasting damage is done as long as the stream does not exceed a certain duration." Really--decades of research? On who? Who were these brave men and women who willingly volunteered to step in the path of an energy beam that could potentially fry their skin? Seems doubtful that such research could be gathered voluntarily. Even more so when you consider more powerful weapons. But the problem is fundamentally deeper than that. There are many, many more reasons why a military-- especially one possibly headed by criminals-might want innocent civilians as human guinea pigs. For example, a basic research question might be: How do people who do not know what is happening to them react to the weapon? The problem with volunteers is that they know there is an experiment in the first place. A military needs to know the psychological impact on targets who have no idea what is going on. And they want people who will try to avoid the weapon because they need to know what the weapon's weaknesses are. That's why experimenting on prisoners (not something I'm recommending) is not good enough. Prisoners are locked up in a cell. I don't doubt that the American government experiments on them as well, but they are simply not enough. I'd be willing to bet that they want data on all kinds of people, from all walks of life, male and female, of a variety of ages and living in variety of settings, weather conditions and countries. And what about longitudinal studies? Where are these brave volunteers who signed up for 20 years of daily experimentation to see what the long- term effects might be? Who said yes to every new test of the weapon, every adjustment in power, in frequency of the beam, varying of duration, and so on? But even that's not good enough. What about enemies boarded up in their houses, what about enemies you want to coerce, to control? Again, you need to shoot some human guinea pigs in their own homes and collect the data. Remember that (probably mocked up) magazine at the Denver Youth Hostel that I discussed in a previous entry? The article in it was all about the U.S. government experimening on unsuspecting individuals. Maybe by leaving that magazine in a conspicuous plac (where I would find it), the bad guys were trying to tell me something.

How do you pick a guinea pig (target)? Why did they pick me? That's a good question. It may be a confluence of things. Who knows, maybe they really did suspect me of knowing something. Maybe the girl in New Mexico really is connected with these criminals. Maybe these criminals really did fear and hate me. Hey, that could be part of it. But that's not why you mobilize the money and effort need to target an individual. The reason why has got to be experimentation. The rest of it just helps narrow down the candidates. Remember, they started intimidating me when I was 19. I do remember vaguely that once, while still at Orange Coast College (just after my father died), some foreign guy (Arabic maybe?) come up to me and started talking about politics or some such thing. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the details because I thought nothing of it at the time. But perhaps that was the start: They need a human guinea pig, so send in some guy to make him look like a spy or terrorist--start to collect some photos and video for those phony- baloney files. Next, you send in some goons to stare at him and intimidate him until he becomes angry--now you've got great video. Alienate him from his family and you've got a guy with no family support, and add to it the perfect distraction--some girl he offended in New Mexico--and you've got yourself a perfect candidate for guinea pig. Plus I'm a nice guy--not the kind, when experimented on, to go off and kill a crowd full of random people, as no doubt some would do. I was the perfect guinea-pig candidate--too good for them to resist, I'm sure. I would bet other TIs out there also had life attributes that made the bad guys deem them to be highly suitable targets.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

More TI Tips: Fans, Hands, Refrigerators

Fans really help. They help keep things cool, make it harder for the bad guys to suffocate you, and keep air circulating. Fans are really helpful. You can use fans to bring fresh air in and move stale air out, and you can also sleep with your face next to a fan. Sleeping next to a fan will keep you cooler (important), and also make it a little more difficult for them to pinpoint where to shoot you to suffocate you.

If you don't already know, putting your hands in front of your face helps. I think most TIs know this, but your body seems to "absorb" the directed-energy attacks. Wherever the attack strikes is where the attack (the "shot" or whatever you want to call it) will be absorbed. If you put your hands in front of your nose, and they try to shoot your nose and instead hit your hands, then your hands will absorb the shot instead of your nose. This can also help prevent suffocation. Of course you can not put your hands too tightly around your nose or you won't be able to breathe.

I have had some good results sleeping near refrigerators. Again, I think putting a large, cold object between you and their "heat-sensing camera" makes it harder for them to see you. You may experiment with this and see what results you get. Every little bit that helps, even in a small way, is still important.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

I was wondering why there were so many mosquitoes around my apartment. This morning I went upstairs and looked out of my second-floor window and saw that my roof was covered with water--a perfect breeding ground for mosquitoes. I looked around and noticed nobody else's roof was covered with water in this way. I went out on my roof and saw that someone had plugged up my drain. I do not think this was an accident. There were three or four DVD cases stacked up over the drain. They were neatly stacked, like pancakes. They could not have just floated there. Furthermore, someone had taken some paper from the DVD movie covers and stuffed it in the hole that connects my roof to the drain. (Incidentally, at least one of the DVD cases appeared to be for a pornographic movie.)

They continue to put what smells like copious amounts of gas into my apartment, and I am "shot" with their energy weapon as well. The combination makes is difficult to breathe at night, and I often wake up with my heart beating much, much too fast, as if instead of sleeping I had just been running a marathon. But my resolve remains unshaken.

More TI tips


Because of the possibility of being gassed and because of the heating nature of the directed-energy weapon, it is advisable that you open all windows of your residence whenever you are home. Incidentally, it is not too hard for the criminals to poke a small hole in a floor, wall, or ceiling and start putting gas into your apartment. Moreover, they will probably make the hole when you are not home, and trying to find where the hole is (to plug it up) is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.


If you are a TI--and only if you are a TI--then you can understand the daily misery that a TI goes through. If you are a TI, then there are really only a few ways to look at your life. You can:

  1. Look at the unfairness of what is being done to you and say, "This is cruel! This is so unfair! Almost everyone else in the world gets a fair chance, but I don't. Everyone else in this world gets at least the chance to make a happy life for themselves, but I don't. Woe is me!" And you wallow in self-pity, and moan, cry, beg every person and organization and do everything in your power just to try to make it all stop, to make the pain stop, to have a normal life again. But of course it won't stop, and people either won't help you (because they're involved with the mob), can't help you, or just don't believe you.
  2. You can say to yourself, "What difference can one person make? There are so many other people (from all walks of life, and some in very powerful positions) already involved." You can do everything in your power to not piss the bad guys off, to appease them. You can ignore all your natural instincts to fight back or to do anything and try to keep a vow of silence, hoping that they will leave you alone. But of course, they won't leave you alone, not even if you say nothing about the torture they do to you everyday for the rest of your life. They must feel they own you. You must *join* them, become one of them. You can pursue joining them--you can sell out every last shred of dignity or honor you ever had, betray your fellow TIs, your country and all of humanity, and eventually quite possibly join them, enabling them and helping them to go right on torturing and maiming innocent people.
  3. Or you can realize you are fighting one of the greatest evils, one of the most wicked organizations of depraved individuals that mankind has ever seen. And you can say to yourself, "I consider it an honor to fight such an evil as this, and to use every bit of energy I have, and lose my life, if necessary, to fight these monstrous individuals in this sick organization of cruelty, torture and injustice." You can fight the good fight, and in doing so help in at least some small way your fellow TIs, your country and all of humanity. You can consider it an honor to fight this evil and to fight this battle, because it is. To speak up, to get the word out about these criminals and what they are doing to all who will listen, is a truly good and noble thing.

In my own life, I spent many years having attitude #1 and then many years with attitude #2 (but not wanting to join them). I felt that if I kept quiet but just didn't join them, that was enough--that I was already making a big enough sacrifice by just not joining them, because they would continue to torture me. But of course, it is not enough. The only good attitude for a TI is #3. I wasted many years when I could have been working much harder to get the truth out and to do something to stop the perpetrators and to help other TIs. Instead I either wallowed in self-pity or tried to ignore and appease the criminals. This was a mistake, and I regret it. It will never happen again.

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